How Does It Feel To Be Married?

I get this question a couple times a week and I really don’t have an answer.

It was a particularly popular conversation starter over the holiday.
How does it feel to spend your first Christmas together as man and wife?

Honestly, it felt the same as it did last year and the year before that (expect there was no Mrs. B).  We did the same thing we always do.

The more people ask this question the more I wonder about it.

Am I suppose to feel different?  Are Danny and I suppose to do different things?

Other than my name, I can’t think of a single thing that’s changed since we’ve been married and I don’t know if that’s good or bad.  I wonder if we should think differently.  If we should be sitting down to discuss life insurance or wills.  Whether we should have some kind of definitive plan of when we’d seriously like to buy a house or have kids.

I can’t decide if the lack of change is a sign of a solid relationship that doesn’t require unnecessary effort or if it means we are two people who are essentially dating and we need to put in more effort.

Danny and I are both happy but I’m not sure that’s indicative of much.  Is our mutual happiness evidence of a successful marriage or is it evidence that we’re both just happy people who happen to be married?

It makes my head hurt to think about.  So that’s when I generally turn into Scarlett O’Hara and decide to think about it tomorrow.  When that happens I wonder if I’m just too immature and if that’s the real problem – maybe I/we aren’t grown-up enough.  That idea is equally disappointing and raises the desire to eat ice cream, which leaves me feeling depressed and like a marshmallow puff.  After that I just want to curl up next to Danny so I will feel better and then I feel like maybe our marriage isn’t in trouble after all….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s