Marriage


“Sometimes when I think he’s the biggest jerk in the world and then he’ll do something funny, and I’ll laugh and I’ll think to myself, ‘Oh, that’s why I married him.'”

That quote alone makes me want to see this documentary.  I think it’s a perfect summary of marriage.  112 Weddings is the work of Doug Block, a filmmaker who has spent decades recording weddings. Weddings are idolized in society.  So much time and effort is put into a single day.  It’s magical and fantastic but Block wondered what happens next?  When the excitement is over and life begins, what does the marriage look like? He decided to go back and talk to some of the couples whose wedding he filmed.  From the preview, it doesn’t appear to be the ‘Happily Ever After’ people hope for.

It’s an interesting concept and one people who are or have been married can understand.  I don’t think I had unrealistic expectations when it came to marriage; however, I also didn’t have any real-life examples of what marriage is and that is just as challenging.  Year one of marriage was harder than I thought it would be.  I naively assumed that since Danny and I lived together and shared finances not much would change.  I was wrong.  Thankfully year two has been much easier.  

That said, there is always room for improvement.  Marriage (and all relationships) are commitments that require attention and effort.  Sometimes I try hard, sometimes I’m lazy.  Watching this preview I was inspired to re-prioritize my efforts.  I picked up a notebook and created a list of questions for us to answer annually in order to address concerns but also track our marriage and see how it changes overtime.  

  1. What is the highlight moment of our marriage this year?
  2. What goals did we accomplish together?
  3. What challenge did we overcome?
  4. What things in our marriage make you sad?
  5. What things in our marriage make you happy?
  6. What do you see as the strength in our marriage?
  7. What do you see as the weakness in our marriage?
  8. Describe how our marriage has changed over the year.
  9. What were some things we used to do before we were married that you miss now?
  10. In what ways have you attempted to communicate love and appreciation to me?
  11. If you could see two things change about me what would they be?
  12. What are your biggest fears about our relationship?
  13. What concerns and interests of yours would you like me to support?
  14. What can I do that provides the greatest comfort and encouragement for you when you are hurt, fearful, anxious or worried?
  15. How can we improve our intimacy or take it to the next level?
  16. What are a few ways you desire to see our finances improve?
  17. What things do you see by my actions that I place first in my life?
  18. What do you enjoy doing with me?
  19. What’s your dream date night?
  20. What gift did I get you that you like?



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