Year Two

I recently had an interesting conversation with my sister about marriage and it forced me to articulate my thoughts on the lovely institution.  I previously mentioned that there are time I don’t feel married.  As it usually happens – you live and learn.  I have since come to the conclusion that it’s not that I don’t feel married, I’m simply used to being married.  It’s my new normal.

It’s a nice normal too. It’s easy to forget all the progress and successes in a relationship.  They become the new baseline and you learn to take them for granted.  I realized this in part talking with Mom this weekend.  I know Danny really well; however, I forget that she doesn’t see him as often.  Consequently, when I see her and vent about whatever is bothering me in the moment, those are the things that stick in her head.  Danny and I have a great marriage; therefore, the small problems we have (e.g. Danny making the bed in the morning) stand out. I’ll happily keep our little problems but I will also make a cognizant effort to talk more about our everyday successes.

Lessons in Marriage:

Year 1: The first year of marriage is REALLY hard! Even if you lived together and shared finances beforehand, the piece of paper changes things.

Year 2: Don’t take the good things for granted and share them with your family and friends. The little things you complain about will seem more serious to them if they don’t know the big picture. 

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