CarrieDaway

This anniversary feels extra special because it’s our third year of marriage and first year as a family of three. We’re ready for it and excited but it’s a little bittersweet.

Danny and I are great together. We bicker and he does things to drive me crazy but I love our life as the two of us. I have no doubt that our life will be infinitely happier with Lucas but this time together has been very special.

And that’s my lesson for this year – I married the right man. Not necessarily applicable to all but for me a very important conclusion. Aside for some expected pre-wedding nervousness, I’ve known for six years that I wanted to spend forever with Danny. It evolved from a wish, to a plan, to a reality and now it’s life. I couldn’t imagine my life without him and honestly pray every night that we get 60 more years together.

I wouldn’t change anything about our life and feel an explosive amount of love for my husband. I hear bad dating stories or see icons about break-ups on Facebook and honestly, have no idea what world is like and am grateful to have avoided it. I’m far from a dating expert since Danny is really the only person I ever dated but I’ll offer a little advice for people who are still looking:

1. That ‘ideal person list’ is probably wrong. For years I thought I’d marry someone who was tall, dark and rich (i.e. Rhett Butler). Multi-lingual, academic and professionally ambitious. Danny is a million wonderful things but none of those – I’ve also polished up some rough edges over the years. If I had let myself get bogged down by these odd ‘standards’ I would have missed out on more happiness than I could possibly imagine.
2. Relationships shouldn’t hurt. They aren’t easy but you should feel joy significantly more than you feel pain. Hurt feelings should only last for a short period of time and be a very infrequent occurrence.
3. Jealousy is never good. Danny is a hospital stud and I’m probably friendlier than I should be. Neither of us are flirts but our naivete probably gets the side-eye from some folks. Fortunately, we are both secure in our relationship and never worry about the other being unfaithful. Trust is paramount and if you can’t trust another person’s action they probably aren’t the right person.

Lessons in Marriage:
Year 1: The first year of marriage is REALLY hard! Even if you lived together and shared finances beforehand, the piece of paper changes things.

Year 2: Don’t take the good things for granted and share them with your family and friends. The little things you complain about will seem more serious to them if they don’t know the big picture.

Year 3: When you’re with the right person, you know it and it feels wonderful.

(Photo credit: Kristin Robertson Photography)