Some couples put there relationship before their kids and others put their kids first. We’re the latter. Adding little people to a twosome is HARD – especially when you suck at getting the little people on a definitive sleep schedule and you co-sleep…
Danny and I are in the thick of it with the boys. Lucas is strong willed and Sam is just a baby with a lot of needs. In a couple years or less it’ll all be over and as exhausting and challenging as these days can be, they are wonderful and we want to take in every minute of it.
Self care and date nights have been put on the back-burner so we can focus on our kids. We know this and we’re on the same page about it. And that’s the lesson. There’s no rules or guidebook for adding kids to your relationship but it’s really important that you both have the same expectations for what your relationship will look like.
What it looks like for us is getting away for a couple hours to celebrate our anniversary by answering our annual 20 marriage questions in the car, enjoying an early dinner (that was absolutely amazing) and forgetting to take a picture before going back to the boys. It was honestly a great night.
And we look forward to doing it more often now that Sam is getting bigger. Danny got us a NextGen membership to the DSO and we are celebrating our birthdays with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin at the Fox next week!
One day it’ll just be the two of us again but in the meantime we’re happy to spend most of our time with our little guys.
Lessons in Marriage:
Year 1: The first year of marriage is REALLY hard! Even if you lived together and shared finances beforehand, the piece of paper changes things.
Year 2: Don’t take the good things for granted and share them with your family and friends. The little things you complain about will seem more serious to them if they don’t know the big picture.
Year 3: When you’re with the right person, you know it and it feels wonderful.
Year 4: Marriage is a series of choices. You decide how you act and react – all actions have consequences.
Year 5: Relationships take effort and sometime a little outside help. Don’t give up when things get hard, go all in.
Year 6: Marriage isn’t always a romantic fairy-tale but its all the little things that add up to create real magic.
Year 7: Make sure you and your partner are on the same page about parenting and it’s inevitable impact on your relationship.